Fools Walk In

Yes, that's right. And I'm going to foist it on the world. In honor of Severus Snape's birthday.

For the last few months my focus on writing has been at an all-time low, so I did the next best thing: I decided, under the tutelage and encouragement of the delightful fire_juggler, to try reading one of my stories aloud. I have some confidence in my skill at putting words together, none at all in my vocal prowess. Any form of (good) acting (which is how I'd classify reading aloud) is beyond me, but the whole experience turned out to be diverting and even soothing — once I got over the predictable weirdness of listening to my voice in playback.

This is my shortest fic, written for the accio_is_love com, in gratitude to accioslash for her tireless devotion to the Snape/Harry community, her generosity as a mod, artist, and cheerleader, and her personal warmth and loveliness. For her sake, I tried my hand at a somewhat different version of Snape, and this was the result.


( For those who are curious )

So, the day started out well (golden autumn, two whole days off, no family crises) and deteriorated as it went on (no family crises ha ha, said the universe, wrong again!). Now it's late and dark, and I sat me down at my computer to scroll through my flist in a desultory fashion, seeking something to distract me. And whoa!

I got my wish.

sarkysue, who wrote the lovely four-part Snarry fic Revealed, Gently (links to the ending with the chapter list), is also, as it happens, a talented artist. Earlier today, she posted a double nude portrait of Snape and Harry based on When the Rose and the Fire Are One, a fic I wrote in 2008. There are two versions of the portrait, a pencil drawing and a watercolor, and both are beautiful-ugly, strange and almost confrontational, the painting exquisitely tinted and the drawing flowing with clean lines and sharp bones. Snape is rendered in a style that pays tribute to Egon Schiele, while Harry's body is more classical, with the slight hip-tilt common to ancient Greek statuary. Their faces are amazing. There is nothing romantic about these two except for their clasped hands -- and for this fic, that's perfect.

I'd highly recommend clicking through to sarkysue's gallery, where you can click again to enlarge the pictures. For some reason posting them to her journal ended up blurring the images, while the Scrapbook versions remain clear and true.

Thank you so, so much for the wonderful surprise, sarkysue. I know I've said it before, but truly, the talent in this fandom astounds me.

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~9000
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life, it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: Canon compliant (book canon). I started this fic for the Snarry Games 2009 and to my great distress failed to get anywhere near finishing it. Now, years later, I'd like to dedicate it with affection and gratitude to djin7, The Snarry Games, and all the authors who participated and whose works I adore. You have made Snape/Harry a permanent part of my internal world.

The prompts I chose for the fest were 'Tongue-Tied' and 'Falling Star.'

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including for the title and summary.


( If the Seas Catch Fire )

part two

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~7700
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life, it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: See Chapter One for the full author's notes.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including the title and summary.


( Part Two )

part three

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~5800
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life, it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: See Chapter One for the full author's notes.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including the title and summary.


( Part Three )

part four

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~5200
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life, it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: See Chapter One for the full author's notes.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including the title and summary.


( part four )

part five

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~6700
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life, it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: See Chapter One for the full author's notes.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including the title and summary.


( part five )

part six

Title: If the Seas Catch Fire
Pairing: Snape/Harry, some Harry/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Word count: this section ~3200
Warnings/spoilers: (highlight to view) Minor bondage, major character death, also character afterlife, although be warned the deaths are treated seriously.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: Severus creates a prison of his own making, and the stars bear witness to it. He cannot speak of love, but as always in his life it becomes the key to both freedom and death.

This time, to his dismay, love goes by the name of Harry Potter.

A/N: See Chapter One for the full author's notes.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750, who always comes through for me. Posting today, at the last minute, in honor of the snape_potter Fix It Fest.

NOTE: this is a work-in-progress, so if you have suggestions I'm happy to hear them, up to and including the title and summary.


( part six )

So, this is a radical idea for me. I've been toying for a while with the possibility of posting a work-in-progress, and I think I'm finally desperate enough to resort to trying it.

Lo, these many years ago, I pulled out of the last Snarry Games because I suck the idea for my fic exploded in size and ambition, and I finally had to admit I wouldn't be able to do it justice in the allotted time. Then, because I apparently can't finish my own work without someone standing over me with a whip, or at least a deadline, my forward momentum lapsed and the fic languished.

Fast-forward two years, ( and it's seized my imagination again. )

This fic is the most romantic thing I've ever written. It's also the angstiest. This worries me a bit, whenever I stop to ponder world-peace-level questions of "woobiefication" and "out of character-ness," but I'm too heavily invested in the imaginative world of the fic to care. ;)

As a kind of semi-entry in the snape_potter Fix It Fest, I hope to start posting the first section after the 15th, uploading chapters over several days until I reach the point at which I left off and have to forge onward again one word at a time. There's no question I'll finish this, by the way; the ending's already written, as is most of the final section leading up to it. But there's a vast deal of middle to pull together, and I need an incentive and a commitment to push forward.

This is a lot of verbiage to say, "I'm posting a WiP, yay!" or "OMG!" but I'm a bit dithery about it, as I'm sure you've noticed. *g* Plenty of people won't consider reading such unreliable things until the last sentence has posted, but for those of you who might decide to follow along I should make it clear this isn't the final version. Knowing me, I'll overhaul and revise in light of the finished product, and I wouldn't mind constructive comments along the way. If anyone has criticism to offer, I'll welcome it. If I freak out, it won't be at you, I promise.

So I have one chapter to change and bring narratively in line, and I'll be ready some time within the fest's posting period. Also *headdesk* I need a title, damn it. As usual. Stupid titles.

delphi posted five questions given her by a friend, addressing the process of writing and how it -- and how she -- relates to her own work. She in turn gave me five different questions. This is probably only of interest to other writers, because, well, it's not a story and it's not fandom-related meta, so it is, as Delphi points out, a way of talking about writing rather than doing it.

( Navel-gazing under the cut )

If any writer -- or reader, for that matter -- wants five questions along similar lines, I'll do my best to steal them from others come up with a few.

I just saw this linked on fiercelydreamed's journal, and it stirred up that sense of a whole fictional world reaching its end, the cast and characters growing up, the underlying themes flashing and threading before our eyes in magical and melancholy images. I don't even like most of the movies, but I think this vid touches the heart of the series rather nicely and sets us up for the very last film.

Apparently IJ doesn't allow embedding? In that case, here's the link to my Dreamwidth entry if you'd like to watch it.

I just saw cesperanza's post about Joanna Russ's death. I am way more upset about this than I would have expected. I'm actually sitting here crying over the news. Damn it. Damn it. I never got a chance to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her work, how absolutely brilliant I thought she was, how no one wrote stories like she did, how she helped shape who I am. She's always been a necessary part of my world; in the background, of course, because I didn't know her personally, but essential and irreplaceable to me. A one-sided long-distance love affair.

Oh man, this sucks. She hasn't even written much in the last 20 years, but I already miss her like blazes.

Thank you, Joanna. For your incisive eye and inimitable voice and your unflinching ability to cut through bullshit. For your intensity and breathtaking smarts and love of women. For your ability to make me laugh out loud. I'm glad you existed; I can't even imagine the void it would have left in my youth if there had been no you. It makes me desperately unhappy that there's no possibility now of further books from your hand. I hate it that you're dead. I hope you're at peace.

&hearts

I'm squeezing in a rec before too much more time passes, because work has me hopping like a flea on a griddle and I've been too tired this week to give all the recent fest fics and art their proper due. Even so, I'm totally squeeful over a piece inspired by one of my own fics, and not one I would ever have expected to appeal in that way. cabepfir has taken a crucial scene from In Infinite Remorse of Soul and captured one of the showdowns between Snape and Dumbledore, a moment when Snape confronts Dumbledore with the unavoidable erotic tensions and unpleasant truths that lie twisted between them.

cabepfir has given me exactly what I want, a fierce, betrayed Snape, naked and furious and demanding a response, and a nonplussed, almost prim Dumbledore, gazing upon what he craves but unwilling to concede an emotional inch. It's an astute crystalization of a scene that changes the terms between them and sets Snape upon a different course. It's very true to the way I see these two in this fic, specific to that one irreversible moment.

Go take a look if you're curious. I love Snape's snarl and refusal to be ashamed. And thank you so much, cabepfir! It made my day. :D

Snape and Dumbledore by cabepfir

You know, the initial thrill of finding fandom becomes old hat after a few years; it's easy to start taking things for granted once the first burst of pleasure dies down. Then there's the wank, which always seems to be happening in some corner or other.

But then something comes along that surprises me into realizing, yet again, what an incredibly generous place fandom is. This morning I received a message from vintu1 informing me that they've translated my fic No Room for the Weak into Russian! I'm seriously flattered and filled with inexpressible delight. I can't imagine how much work must go into translating idiomatic fics from one language into another. The dedication, unpaid and given purely out of love, is mind-boggling.

Thank you so much, vintu1! It's bewildering, in a buoyant way, to know that something I wrote now exists in a language I can't even read. It's like magic. :D

No Room for the Weak in Russian translation.

( A couple of HP_Beholder recs )

Nothing of note here, mostly a record-keeping post for myself. After my mini-meltdown last weekend (I am old enough to know better, but oh well) it occurred to me that linking my latest crack_whatever recs in my own journal would help me keep track of them. I could use Delicious, of course, but pigs will fly before I get myself that organized. So, the first of two rec round-ups.

Many of these fics involve other pairings besides Snape/Harry, since I intended to spotlight stories that might otherwise get overlooked because Snape and Harry were either a subplot or embroiled in other affections. If you click, you'll see what I mean.

1. This Moratorium on Life by lotrwariorgodss.
10,300 words, Severus/Lily, Severus/Harry, PG-13.

2. Sadness of Eros by loupgarou1750.
62,289 words, Snape/Harry, Harry/Ginny, NC-17.

3. Interpretations by solvent90.
5100 words, Snape/Harry, NC-17.

4. Playing Azkaban by fuschia.
6200 words, Severus/Lily, hint of Severus/Harry, R, possible incest squick.

5. Precious by literaryspell.
1,026 words, Snape/Harry, NC-17.

6. Faint Indirections by girl_tarte.
~11,500 words, Neville/Percy, Snape/Harry, PG-13.

7. by the light of lesser stars by nothingbutfic.
~5,622 words, Snape/Harry, NC-17.

8. In Loco Parentis by dolores_crane.
81,072 words, Snape/Harry, Harry/Hermione, Hermione-centric, NC-17.

Just to be clear, the links go to my recs, not directly to the stories themselves.

A sequel to my snapecase story. I need to stop fiddling with it, so I'm just going to say "To hell with it" and post.

Title: And Mine the Gall
Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Albus Severus Potter, Harry Potter, a touch of Snape
Rating: R
Word count: ~5540
Contains: Hints of chan, incest
Disclaimer: Not mine. Written for entertainment, not profit.
Summary: It's one thing to deny oneself; it's another to be denied. In which Albus learns (again) that sins of omission have consequences, even unto the next generation; and that what he denied to Severus shall be visited upon Harry.
A/N: This is a sequel to my snapecase entry In Infinite Remorse of Soul and won't make much sense if you haven't read that one first. The title is taken from the Millay poem Renascence quoted at the beginning of that fic.

Many thanks to loupgarou1750 for patiently re-reading the revisions. All mistakes mine. All constructive criticism accepted in the spirit in which it's given.

***
( And Mine the Gall )

Title: In Infinite Remorse of Soul
Characters: Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~10,700
(Highlight to View) Contains: D/s overtones.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Albus Dumbledore never makes the same mistake twice. Certainly not in love.
A/N: I wrote this for the wonderful snapecase 2011. I've added a sequel here: And Mine the Gall. Many, many thanks to loupgarou1750 for superlative betaing.


( In Infinite Remorse of Soul )

Hello, dear flist, it's recs time! Time for me to pop in, as I do now and then, to point you toward what pleases me. I've just finished a month on crack_broom, where I recced Snarry fics (link goes to the first of eight), and now that it's February I'll be serenading Snape's life over on crack_van with stories spanning his childhood to the end of his life and beyond. For those who already know my tastes there won't be many surprises, but these fics all deserve to be added to the lists for posterity.

Now, about snapecase: the final story posted today, and I've been so sluggish and behind on my reading that I've entirely failed to pull my thoughts together. The truth is I *still* haven't caught up (I've been lured away by books: Rebecca West, Sylvia Townsend Warner, Molly Keane, to name a few. Apparently I'm in high Anglophile mode and regressing to the first half of the 20th century). But now the fest is ending (woe!), so it behooves me to stir my uninspired arse and strew a few petals before those who deserve bouquets.

( In no particular order )

snapecase will post its reveals on February 7th, and in the meantime you might want to join in the guess-the-creator game that concludes the fest.

I forgot to crosspost, so I'm merely dropping a link back to my LJ for reasons of completeness.

Random wittering about judging fanfics as 'the best' versus voting for 'most loved'.

My evenings are much too abbreviated. I eat, I answer a few comments, and poof! it's bedtime. I would like to tender my objections to the Celestial Complaint Department.

Meanwhile, as I wait around for an answer from the Grand Poobah of Infinitesimal Human Affairs, the season is busy aiding and abetting my sporadic love of Anglican Christmas music. I couldn't find a performance of the carol I wanted to share, Of a rose is all my song, so I'll have to make do with this version of a different song by a different composer about the same metaphorical flower. The acoustics are a bit out to sea here, but the performance is lovely nonetheless; the soloist sounds the way butterscotch tastes and is charming to watch. He emotes with his nostrils and eyebrows, and his expression as he pronounces the final 't' in 'night' is wonderfully delicate, like a deer blinking.

Herbert Howells, A Spotless Rose, sung by King's College Choir, Cambridge.